Looking outside myself

I've often heard it said in buddhist circles "ont to look outside yourself for happiness". Today it hit home again what this actually means.

Out of context it can sound like happiness is sitting somewhere inside you, if only you could find it's wee corner where it's been hiding and coax it out. "Survey says.. X"

Again, i've been looking for happiness outside myself. It's not that it's hiding inside my left ear, it's that i was defining my happiness by an external factor. In my case, as ever a woman. "If only.." and "When this happens..." always feature a whole lot in this.

In a way it's a deferment of responsibility, giving your welfare away so you can live in a wee dream land. I'm all to good at that.

Question is then, what's the other way? If that way leads to me being slightly obsessive, acting like a dumbass, and beating myself up over nothing, how should it be done? Real bummer is, only i can answer that one, big poo!!